I’m sitting here at 4:55 on a Friday, unsure of whether I’m more surprised at the results of this poll or the fact that people are actually publishing it as advertising news! The article “Poll: Internet Good Substitute for Significant Other, not Good for Implanting in the Brain” summarizes general opinions about on the internet. One such finding states that thirty-one percent of a dual audience agree that the internet can substitute for a significant other. I find this hilarious because couldn’t anything really be substitue for a significant other? Macaroni and Cheese is comforting, pets are great companions, and the bedside drawer can aid in substiting the “other” category. I really wish they would have compared this to what percentage of people will find SOMETHING, regardless of what it is, to take the place of a significant other.
What I find more disturbing is the other half about “not good for implanting in the brain”. According to this poll, only 11% of people would be willing to “safely implant” the ability to access internet in their brain. Excuse me, but ONLY 11%? Eleven percent seems humongous when you work on a medium that clients and marketers are still struggling to trust their budgets to despite the hard evidence that people are exponentially increasing their time online. It seems huge compared to the instance of the percentage of people that delete their cookies, commit click fraud, and plant viruses. I love the internet and I love internet marketing, but I seriously think a person would be insane to do this. Maybe I’m the one who is crazy. What do you think? Don’t even get me started on the rest of the poll findings like how the internet made them closer to God….